My Story-Blondy Beast Fit
‘’Don’t live the same day over and over again and call that a life. Life is about evolving mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.’’
I grew up in the suburbs, in a loving family, and without any problems, a perfect little family some would say. However, it all changed when my parents got divorced. I was seven years old and, at this age, you are supposed to play with other kids right? Well, I became more and more introvert and began to read adult books because it was my only way to escape. As a child, you don’t understand a lot of things. You don’t understand why your parents are crying, why you want to be alone… so I started to get bullied. I was different. I was reading books instead of playing outside. I was crying instead of smiling. I was sad. I was gaining weight. I was eating more and more. I cut my hair. It got worst. Children are sometimes to most adorable but they can also be the evilest. It never stopped.
When I was in grade 6, so around 11 years old, I saw my father’s dumbbells in the living room. I was so alone that these dumbbells became my friends. I had no idea whatsoever of what I was doing, but it was working. At this time, I was not aware of my genetic, so I didn’t notice the changes. I gained strength and muscles so fast, for a young girl, that the kids, all of them, noticed it. It got worst. I was now being called a boy, an ugly person, a fat pig and all the names they could find to kill me inside. At 11 years old, I discovered my passion for fitness, but I stopped because of them. I just wanted to be accepted. They killed me inside. They took away my only escape, and I didn’t get accepted anyway. I have always been the ‘’different kid’’. I got my first suicidal thoughts.
At thirteen years old, I tried to kill myself three times, in two months. I’ve been sexually assaulted and abused by a guy three years older than me. I told my friends. I got into depression. I had to change school because the bullying got so bad that I was now being called a whore because my friends told everyone. I was also called so many other bad words, but I could not handle it anymore. When I changed school, some girls decided that they did not like me without even knowing me and so they beat me and told everyone and myself that they were going to kill me, for fun. It never ever stopped in more than eleven years. At fourteen years old, I got physically, sexually and verbally abused by my ex-boyfriends. I have never had any real friends or friends, I only got fatter and fatter.
At sixteen, I got into my first road rage car accident. A guy stopped me in the middle of the road for no reason, got out of his car and tried to break my window to kill me, but he didn’t succeed. I ended up at the hospital. The doctor gave me 8 pills to take per day, to wake up, survive the day without freaking out, to go back to sleep, and repeat. I broke up with the only guy who ever loved me, and I have ever loved. I could not love myself, I could not handle it. I lost 30 pounds in the first month, and now people began to compliment me. How sexy I was, how leaner I was, wow. I lost 35 pounds the second month. People were asking me: Hey Cam, how are you losing this much weight? It is incredible! You are so beautiful now. How… Do you want to know the secret? I stopped eating. It’s been 9 years now that I am being called a fat pig, a cunt, a whore, a fatty, an obese, and a disgusting fat pig. Now that I am tiny as a kid, I am beautiful? Now that you see my bones, I am beautiful? Now that I am starving, I am beautiful? I will never understand humans…
No one knew. No one knows. Months were passing. My father saw how weak I was, and he brought me into a gym. This day, he saved my life. This day, he gave me faith, hope. This day, he gave me back what kids stole me 10 years ago. All this suffering, all of this pain became my motive. It became my fire. I dropped out of college five months later, and got my personal trainer certification and registered my company as Blondy Beast Fit online personal trainer. I was 90 pounds when he brought me to the gym. 10 months after, I was 165 pounds of muscles at 10% body fat, getting ready for my first figure show. He turned my life around without even knowing it.
It might seem weird but, I am grateful for this life. I am grateful for this suffering, for all this pain. I have been through hell; so many times… I’ve touched a lot of drugs, alcohol. However, that is how I became myself. Pain is like water. It finds a way to push through any seal and there is no way to stop it. Sometimes you have to let yourself sink inside of it before you can learn how to swim to the surface. Life is beautiful and is worth living.
I am nineteen years old now, sober, I grew up a following on different platforms and, as funny as it seems, the majority of my bullies are now looking up to me. They are apologizing, they follow me, they ask me questions, and they tell me how much I changed their world and how inspiring I am. They built me. I have always wanted to be muscular; I am now, because of them.
Life will put you through hell… if you are able to survive, you will grow stronger and more mature. Life has plans for you and if it has to make you suffer in order for you to achieve them, it will. The bravest thing I’ve done was continuing my life when I wanted to die, so many times. But as I always say; if you throw me to the wolves, I will return leading the pack. Being a girl doing ‘’ men’s things’’ is often, well too often, seen as negative. Being ‘’too muscular’’ is seen as being a man, as not being beautiful. I want to change that. At 19 years old, only one year of training, I am now part of Team Mutant, became a certified personal trainer, writing a book and working to change the world. I want to have an impact, I want to become an inspiration for others.
Some people fear fire and some become it. I chose to become it, and let it rage!
Now I will finish by saying this: when life gives you a lemon, ask for salmon and rice and eat that meal and go train!
Thank you for reading,
Blondy Beast Fit